No Cow
Dipped Birthday Cake
TL:DR
In 2 Sentences
A dessert-y, white-dipped “birthday cake” bar that’s fully vegan and delivers 20 grams of plant protein at about 200 calories with just 1 gram of sugar. Among vegan bars, that protein-to-calorie ratio—plus the festive coating and sprinkles—stands out.
When to choose No Cow Dipped Birthday Cake
Plant-based or dairy-free eaters who prize macros over minimal processing, and anyone who wants a post-workout sweet tooth fix with steady energy and very little sugar.
What's in the No Cow bar?
Birthday cake, but plant-powered. No Cow’s Dipped Birthday Cake bar leans on a pea-and-brown-rice protein blend to deliver 20 grams of protein—without dairy.
The “dipped” part matters: a white coating and rainbow sprinkles drive the cake-shop flavor, with sweetness from erythritol plus stevia and monk fruit rather than sugar.
Most of the 26 grams of carbs come from soluble corn fiber and sugar alcohols, so the energy is steadier than a frosted treat, though sensitive stomachs may prefer to pace their intake.
Fat stays modest at 6 grams, coming partly from palm oils in the coating and partly from almonds and a touch of peanuts. There’s a small micronutrient cameo too: about 15% of daily iron, likely from the plant proteins.
If you want vegan, gluten-free protein with dessert vibes and very little sugar, this one reads your brief.
- Protein
- 20 g
- Fat
- 6 g
- Carbohydrates
- 26 g
- Sugar
- 1 g
- Calories
- 200
Protein
2015HIGHProtein comes from a two-plant team: pea protein (lysine‑rich) and brown rice protein (higher in sulfur amino acids). That pairing balances the amino acid profile and delivers 20 grams without dairy or soy, putting this bar among the higher-protein options. Expect a denser chew than whey, but a clean, vegan protein base.
Fat
69LOWThe 6 grams of fat come from palm and palm kernel oils in the white coating (more saturated and shelf-stable) plus nuts—almonds and a bit of peanuts—adding mostly unsaturated fats. It’s a relatively low‑fat bar overall, with a meaningful share of saturated fat from the coating. If you’re watching saturated fat, note that the dip is doing some of the work here.
Carbs
2620HIGHMost of the 26 grams of carbs aren’t from sugar or grain; they’re soluble corn fiber (a refined, digestion‑resistant fiber) plus bulk sweeteners like erythritol, with some glycerin to keep things soft. This keeps blood sugar steadier and lowers “net carbs,” trading a quick rush for more even energy. Sensitive guts may want to avoid stacking multiple fiber/polyol products in the same day.
Sugar
14LOWOnly 1 gram of sugar because sweetness comes from a blend of sugar alcohol (erythritol, which provides bulk with near‑zero calories) plus high‑intensity sweeteners stevia and monk fruit (used in tiny amounts). This keeps glycemic impact low, though some people notice bloating when they combine multiple sugar‑alcohol‑sweetened foods. If you prefer sweetness from fruit or honey, this will drink more like a modern sugar‑free dessert than a fruit‑sweet bar.
Calories
200210MIDAt 200 calories, the bar leans heavily on protein for its energy, with a smaller contribution from fat; many of the listed carbs are low‑calorie fiber and near‑zero‑calorie erythritol. In practice, you get a high protein‑to‑calorie ratio and less impact from sugar than the carb number alone suggests. It works as a substantial snack or a light meal bridge.
Vitamins & Minerals
No added vitamin blend here, but iron lands around 15% of daily value, primarily from the pea and rice proteins (with a small assist from nuts). Other micronutrients are minimal. Think of this as a protein‑first bar with a helpful iron bump for plant‑forward eaters.
Additives
To pull off “dipped birthday cake” without sugar, the recipe uses refined helpers: soluble corn fiber for bulk, glycerin to keep it soft, erythritol for sugar‑like body, stevia/monk fruit for intense sweetness, and sunflower lecithin to smooth the coating. These keep sugars low and texture pleasant, but they’re more engineered than whole‑food sweeteners. Polyols and added fiber can cause gas in some—portion and pace matter.
Ingredient List
Brown rice grain
Yellow pea seeds
Corn starch
Corn or wheat starch
Oil palm fruit
Sunflower seeds
Fats and oils
Almond tree seeds
Stevia leaves
Monk fruit
What are people saying?
Sources
Range
“O-M-G these actually aren’t that bad. No chalky powdery finish like I was worried about. The flavor is great too. As far as protein bars go, I’d give these an 8/10 and will def keep in the rotation.”
“However, No Cow is by far my favorite brand.”
“I looove no cow bars. Birthday cake flavor is 👌👌”
Main Praise
The macro story is the headline: roughly 200 calories for 20 grams of plant protein is hard to beat, and reviewers call that out again and again. BarBend even crowned No Cow one of the best high-protein vegan picks, and SELF highlighted how the line’s hefty fiber helps with fullness.
Fans say the dipped flavors, birthday cake included, are the best-tasting of the bunch—several Redditors specifically call this flavor out as a keeper. On Amazon, wayoutforce praised the protein-to-calorie ratio and bought multiple boxes; Jeffrey S.
liked the soft consistency, which is rare praise in vegan-bar land. For people who avoid dairy or soy, the pea-and-rice blend is a solid, well-rounded alternative without the whey after-effects.
Add in a bump of iron from the plant proteins and you’ve got a bar that feels purpose-built for plant-forward training and busy days.
Main Criticism
Texture and sweetness are the sticking points. Multiple reviewers, including Garage Gym Reviews, found some flavors dry or gritty with a noticeable stevia/sugar alcohol aftertaste.
A few customers on Amazon echoed this—one titled their review “The Bad, The Dry, and The Ugly,” while another said it felt like chewing straight protein powder. Digestive comfort is mixed: many people do fine, but sugar alcohols and added fibers can bother sensitive stomachs.
There are also reports of inconsistency—Reddit users note some boxes are soft while others skew crumbly—which makes committing to a case feel like a gamble for texture-sensitive eaters.
The Middle Ground
So which is it: a dessert-flavored macro win, or a sandy science project? Likely both, depending on your priorities.
If you’re shopping for protein density without dairy, No Cow’s 20 grams at ~200 calories—and just 1 gram of sugar—hits a rare sweet spot; that is exactly why BarBend and SELF put the line on their lists.
The dipped flavors, including birthday cake, do seem to soften the chew and mute the chalkiness compared with the regular line, which could explain why some Redditors rave while others pan.
Meanwhile, taste and tolerance are personal: one Reddit commenter calling vegan bars “a crime against humanity” might have just been having a rough day—or a rough gut.
If you prefer fruit- or honey-sweetened bars with fewer engineered ingredients, you’ll likely find No Cow too processed; if your goal is efficient protein with stable energy, it’s a strong contender.
The Amazon average—about 4. 0 stars across more than 7,600 ratings—suggests a polarized but sizable fan base, not a fluke.
What's the bottom line?
No Cow’s Dipped Birthday Cake Protein Bar is a protein-first, plant-based dessert disguise. ” The trade-offs are honest ones—more engineered sweeteners and fibers, and a texture that ranges from pleasantly dense to too-dry depending on the batch and your palate. If you’re chasing macros and want a sweet, dairy-free bar that won’t spike sugar, start with a single Dipped Birthday Cake bar before buying a box.
If you dislike stevia/erythritol notes, crave whole-food sweeteners, or are sensitive to sugar alcohols, you’ll be happier elsewhere. desk warrior who wants dessert vibes with serious protein, this bar earns a spot in the rotation—candles optional.